Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Dear Vajpayee-jee,

I hope my letter finds you in the best of health. I pray to Lord Ram for your continued good health and your blessings to us and our Parivar in the days to come.

Speaking of Lord Ram, I also pray to him and thank him that nasty court case against me has not been moved out; so it can continue to stagnate and decay, under the burden of the papers that the courts are overloaded with.

Speaking of overloaded, I am also overloaded with a lot of pink chaddis - a lot of those meant for that idiot Muthalik seem to have got diverted to our Parivar folks too.

Speaking of diversion, it seems a lot of hawala money was diverted by that Pune Khan chap to Swiss banks. I was about to suggest in Parliament that we write to Swiss banks making it compulsory to reveal the owners of the wealth, like the US Govt did. But then, I was stopped in time by, let me see, who was it... Yes, everyone. The only time we had true consensus in parliament.

Speaking of consensus, we are now having true consensus in UP - Kalyan has joined Mulayam, and we also agree that there are only 2 ladies that need to be beaten (up) - that Italian one, and that Uttar Bharatiya one.

Speaking of beating up, Valentine's day is here again, refreshing days are here again. I do like these light hearted days; so much better than answering courts and committees about how that stupid structure came down.

Speaking of committees, the SIT committee is making life tough for Modi-jee, though I confess, I am quite relieved. This does take off the pressure of him breathing down my neck, off for a while - the Tatas and Ambanis made life difficult for me annointing him as PM-in-Waiting.

Speaking of PM-in-waiting, people say that is officially, my tag & title. Oh, what tragedy. To think that at one point, this was the tag for ChandraShekhar! How I have fallen, Vajpayee-jee.

Speaking of other PMs-in-waiting, brings me to Rahul-baba ofcourse. Why cannot the Congress tell once and for all whether Manmohan or Rahul will be the next PM? Do I criticize the weakness of the first, or the dynastic regime of the second? These cunning congressites!

Speaking of dynasties, I was wondering whether Pratibha (my daughter not the Prez!) might have made a mistake not joining the BJP & Politics? See how Rahul-baba and Priyanka-baby have made a career (and money) out of actually doing nothing but smiling and talking. Well, thats what Pratibha can also do so well.

Speaking of merely smiling and talking, reminds me ofcourse of our fearless Barkha-jee; the one who never (oh ofcourse never) compromised the lives of hostages by giving away there positions on live TV. (She files law-suits, Vajpayee-jee, she files law-suits)

Speaking of TV, it is too boring these days - no war cries with Pakistan any more.

Speaking of Pakistan, oh forget it. They are not even worth speaking about.

Speaking of worth speaking, ofcourse is the elections. They're a-coming, haan-jee, they are coming. And my wait is about to get over.

Speaking of elections, ofcourse is that Congress stooge sitting there and leaking all information to them. These guys have covered all their flanks.

Speaking of which reminds me, Vajpayee-jee, you became PM once atleast (twice if we count your 13 day fiasco). Will I not, even once, ever?

Atal-jee, Aapka Hua

Ab Meraa Kyaa (Kab?) Hogaa

And now that I am going through this letter, I realise that, like this letter, my career too is not going anywhere.

With deep respects and pranaams,


Note 1- This is an Imaginary and fictitious letter, written only in humour, & without any expectations of it being taken seriously by anyone.
Note 2 - All apologies already provided to all who object to this post. No law suits accepted.