We are so blessed to have 2 parties, the great Congress and the dynamic NCP to serve us.
They are so keen to serve us the people, that they are not able to decide, days after the election results are announced, how many ministers each will have to serve us.
They - Sonia, Sharad, Ashok, Vilasrao, Chhagan, Narayan - and even the babalog - Supriya, Nilesh, Milind, and many other assorted babies of all sizes shapes and ideologies - all line up for a share of the responsibility of serving us the people.
So much so that even the governor is concerned why the 2 parties are so keen to serve the people that they have not yet formed a government yet.
And no cynicism please; all this is only to serve you the common man and woman. They are so keen to do the job properly, and don't want to leave it to chance - or to their alliance partner either.
Life could never have been better. Well it could have - if only, I could have migrated to Australia before they took out their daggers. And, to the US, but the H1B has dried up too.
Bombay - I land up staying here. I know I know, I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve the ones who stay here either.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Merit always triumphs (or does it)
Nothing else matters.
Not age.
Not hardships.
Not who you were born to.
Not how you look.
Not how well connected you are.
Not how people perceive you.
Not in the UK atleast.
India? Well, Jaanta Nahi Meraa Baap Kaun Hai still prevails, unfortunately...
Ever imagine a 47-year old Indian woman, never-married, who stays alone with her cat, getting shortlisted to go on stage for the Indian Idol..? Though now, I am sure, we might!
See this, and try not getting teary-eyed!
Not age.
Not hardships.
Not who you were born to.
Not how you look.
Not how well connected you are.
Not how people perceive you.
Not in the UK atleast.
India? Well, Jaanta Nahi Meraa Baap Kaun Hai still prevails, unfortunately...
Ever imagine a 47-year old Indian woman, never-married, who stays alone with her cat, getting shortlisted to go on stage for the Indian Idol..? Though now, I am sure, we might!
See this, and try not getting teary-eyed!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My Dear Vajpayee-jee,
I hope my letter finds you in the best of health. I pray to Lord Ram for your continued good health and your blessings to us and our Parivar in the days to come.
Speaking of Lord Ram, I also pray to him and thank him that nasty court case against me has not been moved out; so it can continue to stagnate and decay, under the burden of the papers that the courts are overloaded with.
Speaking of overloaded, I am also overloaded with a lot of pink chaddis - a lot of those meant for that idiot Muthalik seem to have got diverted to our Parivar folks too.
Speaking of diversion, it seems a lot of hawala money was diverted by that Pune Khan chap to Swiss banks. I was about to suggest in Parliament that we write to Swiss banks making it compulsory to reveal the owners of the wealth, like the US Govt did. But then, I was stopped in time by, let me see, who was it... Yes, everyone. The only time we had true consensus in parliament.
Speaking of consensus, we are now having true consensus in UP - Kalyan has joined Mulayam, and we also agree that there are only 2 ladies that need to be beaten (up) - that Italian one, and that Uttar Bharatiya one.
Speaking of beating up, Valentine's day is here again, refreshing days are here again. I do like these light hearted days; so much better than answering courts and committees about how that stupid structure came down.
Speaking of committees, the SIT committee is making life tough for Modi-jee, though I confess, I am quite relieved. This does take off the pressure of him breathing down my neck, off for a while - the Tatas and Ambanis made life difficult for me annointing him as PM-in-Waiting.
Speaking of PM-in-waiting, people say that is officially, my tag & title. Oh, what tragedy. To think that at one point, this was the tag for ChandraShekhar! How I have fallen, Vajpayee-jee.
Speaking of other PMs-in-waiting, brings me to Rahul-baba ofcourse. Why cannot the Congress tell once and for all whether Manmohan or Rahul will be the next PM? Do I criticize the weakness of the first, or the dynastic regime of the second? These cunning congressites!
Speaking of dynasties, I was wondering whether Pratibha (my daughter not the Prez!) might have made a mistake not joining the BJP & Politics? See how Rahul-baba and Priyanka-baby have made a career (and money) out of actually doing nothing but smiling and talking. Well, thats what Pratibha can also do so well.
Speaking of merely smiling and talking, reminds me ofcourse of our fearless Barkha-jee; the one who never (oh ofcourse never) compromised the lives of hostages by giving away there positions on live TV. (She files law-suits, Vajpayee-jee, she files law-suits)
Speaking of TV, it is too boring these days - no war cries with Pakistan any more.
Speaking of Pakistan, oh forget it. They are not even worth speaking about.
Speaking of worth speaking, ofcourse is the elections. They're a-coming, haan-jee, they are coming. And my wait is about to get over.
Speaking of elections, ofcourse is that Congress stooge sitting there and leaking all information to them. These guys have covered all their flanks.
Speaking of which reminds me, Vajpayee-jee, you became PM once atleast (twice if we count your 13 day fiasco). Will I not, even once, ever?
Atal-jee, Aapka Hua
Ab Meraa Kyaa (Kab?) Hogaa
And now that I am going through this letter, I realise that, like this letter, my career too is not going anywhere.
With deep respects and pranaams,
Yours,
The-PM-in-Waiting
Note 1- This is an Imaginary and fictitious letter, written only in humour, & without any expectations of it being taken seriously by anyone.
Note 2 - All apologies already provided to all who object to this post. No law suits accepted.
Speaking of Lord Ram, I also pray to him and thank him that nasty court case against me has not been moved out; so it can continue to stagnate and decay, under the burden of the papers that the courts are overloaded with.
Speaking of overloaded, I am also overloaded with a lot of pink chaddis - a lot of those meant for that idiot Muthalik seem to have got diverted to our Parivar folks too.
Speaking of diversion, it seems a lot of hawala money was diverted by that Pune Khan chap to Swiss banks. I was about to suggest in Parliament that we write to Swiss banks making it compulsory to reveal the owners of the wealth, like the US Govt did. But then, I was stopped in time by, let me see, who was it... Yes, everyone. The only time we had true consensus in parliament.
Speaking of consensus, we are now having true consensus in UP - Kalyan has joined Mulayam, and we also agree that there are only 2 ladies that need to be beaten (up) - that Italian one, and that Uttar Bharatiya one.
Speaking of beating up, Valentine's day is here again, refreshing days are here again. I do like these light hearted days; so much better than answering courts and committees about how that stupid structure came down.
Speaking of committees, the SIT committee is making life tough for Modi-jee, though I confess, I am quite relieved. This does take off the pressure of him breathing down my neck, off for a while - the Tatas and Ambanis made life difficult for me annointing him as PM-in-Waiting.
Speaking of PM-in-waiting, people say that is officially, my tag & title. Oh, what tragedy. To think that at one point, this was the tag for ChandraShekhar! How I have fallen, Vajpayee-jee.
Speaking of other PMs-in-waiting, brings me to Rahul-baba ofcourse. Why cannot the Congress tell once and for all whether Manmohan or Rahul will be the next PM? Do I criticize the weakness of the first, or the dynastic regime of the second? These cunning congressites!
Speaking of dynasties, I was wondering whether Pratibha (my daughter not the Prez!) might have made a mistake not joining the BJP & Politics? See how Rahul-baba and Priyanka-baby have made a career (and money) out of actually doing nothing but smiling and talking. Well, thats what Pratibha can also do so well.
Speaking of merely smiling and talking, reminds me ofcourse of our fearless Barkha-jee; the one who never (oh ofcourse never) compromised the lives of hostages by giving away there positions on live TV. (She files law-suits, Vajpayee-jee, she files law-suits)
Speaking of TV, it is too boring these days - no war cries with Pakistan any more.
Speaking of Pakistan, oh forget it. They are not even worth speaking about.
Speaking of worth speaking, ofcourse is the elections. They're a-coming, haan-jee, they are coming. And my wait is about to get over.
Speaking of elections, ofcourse is that Congress stooge sitting there and leaking all information to them. These guys have covered all their flanks.
Speaking of which reminds me, Vajpayee-jee, you became PM once atleast (twice if we count your 13 day fiasco). Will I not, even once, ever?
Atal-jee, Aapka Hua
Ab Meraa Kyaa (Kab?) Hogaa
And now that I am going through this letter, I realise that, like this letter, my career too is not going anywhere.
With deep respects and pranaams,
Yours,
The-PM-in-Waiting
Note 1- This is an Imaginary and fictitious letter, written only in humour, & without any expectations of it being taken seriously by anyone.
Note 2 - All apologies already provided to all who object to this post. No law suits accepted.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sacred Cows
One man's sacred cow is another man's, er, beef.. And what could classify as downright cheapness, can also, by a small smart calculated shift and a little lipstick, become shining & exemplary behaviour.
So, a Congress minister can cater to his political base (which need not extend to India, but is probably limited to his Religion). So while Indians can fret and and frown, by playing to his target constituency, it sees him as a hero (He claims to have started recieving big hugs now, each time he goes to pray!).
So when the Indian cricket team say they are playing for the country and for Bombay, it sounds hollow. Because, unlike the England team that gave away 50% of their personal match fees earning, all the Indian cricketers contributed is 'dedicating' their win to the Bombay victims (and Sachin's raising his bat after, oh-thank-God achieving his 41st century to keep his neck ahead of Ponting). So once you put those black arm bands, you can continue and mint money; and hopefully the IPL cash coffers will also open up soon.
So, when Star Plus shows the Voice of India song-and-dance program last evening with all gloss and glitter, without a care about the propriety of it, happening less than a month of the Bombay terror attacks - they are smart enough to take precautionary action. Throw in a few tricolour-clad dancers and put in stupid patriotic Bollywood songs (suno gaur se duniya waalon buri nazar naa hampe daalo) - and presto, they are actually doing it for the country. Not money or TRPs, of course not.
Like sex, jingoism sells too. So, put in the tricolours, or don't, depending on the constituency you wish to appeal to. And exploit the masses.
Sacred cows are meant to be slaughtered, yes, but you do need to make the right noises.
..
So, a Congress minister can cater to his political base (which need not extend to India, but is probably limited to his Religion). So while Indians can fret and and frown, by playing to his target constituency, it sees him as a hero (He claims to have started recieving big hugs now, each time he goes to pray!).
So when the Indian cricket team say they are playing for the country and for Bombay, it sounds hollow. Because, unlike the England team that gave away 50% of their personal match fees earning, all the Indian cricketers contributed is 'dedicating' their win to the Bombay victims (and Sachin's raising his bat after, oh-thank-God achieving his 41st century to keep his neck ahead of Ponting). So once you put those black arm bands, you can continue and mint money; and hopefully the IPL cash coffers will also open up soon.
So, when Star Plus shows the Voice of India song-and-dance program last evening with all gloss and glitter, without a care about the propriety of it, happening less than a month of the Bombay terror attacks - they are smart enough to take precautionary action. Throw in a few tricolour-clad dancers and put in stupid patriotic Bollywood songs (suno gaur se duniya waalon buri nazar naa hampe daalo) - and presto, they are actually doing it for the country. Not money or TRPs, of course not.
Like sex, jingoism sells too. So, put in the tricolours, or don't, depending on the constituency you wish to appeal to. And exploit the masses.
Sacred cows are meant to be slaughtered, yes, but you do need to make the right noises.
..
Monday, December 8, 2008
Statehood for Bombay!
My last post on Bombay, had a few thoughts and views.
But this article by Meghnad Desai in the Indian express, is probably what I wanted to convey and could not. For ease of reading, here is the article.
And, as it says, we need Statehood for Bombay so that atleast at the grassroots, we can have decent (and human) leaders who determine and drive our destiny. Not some jokers sitting in Delhi.
by Meghnad Desai
I grew up in Bombay, not Mumbai. In the 1950s, it was cosmopolitan and vibrant and a lot of fun. Just looking at the Taj from the Gateway of India—Palva Bunder as we called it—was enough to give me a thrill. I could not afford even a cup of tea in the Taj then. Years later in 1993, when I came to give the Exim Bank lecture, I was able to stay there, in the old Taj, on one of those higher floors. I have stayed again several times. It was the haven of perfection, a pure joy.
Seeing the Taj burn was bad enough. The people of Bombay, who gathered angrily, had me with them every inch. My anger during those 60 hours made me believe that perhaps India itself will see how much was lost in that attack on its sovereignty. Perhaps, Indian politicians would mend their ways and unite. I could see that many people holding candles were looking up to their leaders to deliver.
But this article by Meghnad Desai in the Indian express, is probably what I wanted to convey and could not. For ease of reading, here is the article.
And, as it says, we need Statehood for Bombay so that atleast at the grassroots, we can have decent (and human) leaders who determine and drive our destiny. Not some jokers sitting in Delhi.
Statehood for Bombay
by Meghnad Desai
I grew up in Bombay, not Mumbai. In the 1950s, it was cosmopolitan and vibrant and a lot of fun. Just looking at the Taj from the Gateway of India—Palva Bunder as we called it—was enough to give me a thrill. I could not afford even a cup of tea in the Taj then. Years later in 1993, when I came to give the Exim Bank lecture, I was able to stay there, in the old Taj, on one of those higher floors. I have stayed again several times. It was the haven of perfection, a pure joy. Seeing the Taj burn was bad enough. The people of Bombay, who gathered angrily, had me with them every inch. My anger during those 60 hours made me believe that perhaps India itself will see how much was lost in that attack on its sovereignty. Perhaps, Indian politicians would mend their ways and unite. I could see that many people holding candles were looking up to their leaders to deliver.
Fat chance. The response of the political classes has been muffled and cynical and smug. The one shining exception is P. Chidambaram, the new Home Minister. He has been the only politician to say sorry to people of Bombay. Otherwise, the country was asked to get back to its foetal position and start blaming Pakistan. Police and politicians went on air repeating the story that the one surviving terrorist was telling them, as if the man is telling the truth. The BBC sent a reporter to where he is supposed to be from and found no one who had heard of him. He is as likely an Indian as he is an Arab, for all anyone knows. Of course, what he told them was what he was instructed to say, since the enemy knows how gullible Indian authorities are. The familiar names of Dawood Ibrahim and ISI and LeT were fed to the interrogators.
So we send off the old laundry list of names to Islamabad and ask in menacing tones for Pakistan to surrender them immediately. Is anyone serious? It is one thing for the TV newscasters to shout at Pakistanis onscreen about what they must do. They have soap to sell and TRPs to watch. But I can say with confidence that the UK Government would not entertain such a request, even from an ally, even for known convicted terrorists. There is a human rights framework, which does not permit extradition of people, who are unlikely to get justice at the other end. The arrested terrorist, Ajmal Ameer Kasab, may not even get a lawyer to defend him. Condoleezza Rice must have had to suppress her laughter when confronted with such amateurish performance. Indians can do complicated nuclear negotiations, since that is like an exercise in Vedantic hairsplitting. But when it comes to real world terror, all we get is clichés.
But what are Bombayites to do? First, let us stop calling it Mumbai. Then I suggest, why not start a movement for statehood for Bombay? Why don’t Bombayites field candidates at the forthcoming elections, who would demand a separate state for Bombay, as was Nehru’s wish? That way they need not vote for any of the political parties, whose leaders abused Karkare till the day he died, and equipped him with a bullet-proof vest which was useless and a pistol to face an AK-47. Bombayites would not have to suffer the humiliation of their CM selected after several days’ delay, not on grounds of competence but of caste. A Bombayite may even qualify to be CM of Bombay! No one else in Indian politics gives a toss for Bombay and its millions.Of course it won’t happen all at once. But if at the next election a few MLAs or an MP or two can be unseated by Bombayites, then the demand would be taken seriously. Delhi has a state for itself, so why not Bombay?
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